How to tell if a MUSH is a Shitty MUSH (tm)
by Wolfang
June 24, 1998

Sorry to disappoint anyone who came here expecting a list of specific 
names and sites. This is my list of basic guidelines for determining a 
MUSH's Shittiness Factor (tm). I'll probably add to it as I come up with 
more things, but for now, on with the show:

You can tell a lot of things about a site within the first few seconds 
of when you log on as a guest. Look at the room descs. Are they spelled 
properly? (I mean consistently... a typo here and there is all right.) 
If not, it means that at least one member of Build Staff is a moron and 
shouldn't have been hired. This is a possible sign of a Shitty MUSH.

Next I usually check the WHO list. How many people are logged on, and 
more importantly, how many of them have stupid names? Stupid is relative 
to the theme, of course, but let's assume we're talking about 
Transformers MUSHes here, and there's a character logged on named 
something stupid like 'Night Stalker', we're looking at a Shitty MUSH. 
Or at least one boner on Charstaff who never should've been hired.

Then, look at the news files. Is the news index (the screen you see when 
you type 'news' with no arguments) clean and easy to read? Are the news 
files organized in a manner that makes sense to more than a chimp with 
fingerpaints and an easel? I prefer news files organized by groups of 
similar content. Some places do them by date, or alphabetical order, 
which is somewhat less easy to follow, but acceptable. Then there're 
places that just throw up whatever they feel like with no regard to 
order or even columns. Shitty MUSHes.

Ditto with +help files. They should be neatly organized and at least 
make a grammatically-correct *attempt* to explain commands.

While we're looking at news files, see if you can find their "adult 
situations" policy. If they say that Transformers can reproduce and TS 
is themely, GET THE FUCK OUT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BEFORE THEY SUCK YOU 
IN! Then, if conditions allow, it is best to destroy the site via 
orbital nuclear bombardment before they can spawn across the Internet.

If one of the admin is a known "problem-player" at another site (read: 
twink, powergamer, asshole, dork, etc), then it's probably a Shitty 
MUSH.

If one of the wizards is a problem-player, then it's definitely a Shitty 
MUSH.

Relative to that, if the MUSH was created because X dork couldn't get a 
bit/particular character at Y MUSH, so decided to build his own (you can 
tell), then there was probably a REASON that dork didn't get 
hired/approved, and thusly it's a Shitty MUSH.

If you were unfortunate enough to get a character there, and find that 
the average RP quality consists of poses that are less than 30 
characters long (including the character's name, optionally, though your 
standards may be different), then, perhaps through no fault of the admin 
other than the bonehead charstaff that gave those people characters, 
it's a Shitty MUSH.

If Raksha plays/admins/hangs out there, it's a Shitty MUSH.

If the admin are condescending assholes, it's a Shitty MUSH.

If the admin are incompetent (i cant um speel or punctuate but im build 
head!!), it's a Shitty MUSH.

If the admin were hired "off the street" (post on another MUSH: Hey, I'm 
starting Transformers Leviticus. If you want to be on staff, email me! 
TP, Theme, and Charstaff Head positions are still open!) then it's 
probably a Shitty MUSH. This is sometimes excuseable, if the person 
doing the hiring actually requires rigorous applications and makes his 
decisions wisely, but in 99% of cases, people who make posts like that 
are Dorks.

And finally, most importantly: If Wolfang used to play/admin there, but 
quit out of disgust, and still bashes it, then it's definitely a Shitty 
MUSH. :>