WHAT CHARACTERS DO WHEN THE MUSH IS DOWN (by Whiz)

     "So, what're we going to do now?"  
     Whiz fiddled with some of the controls, but the screens in Metroplex's 
command center remained blank.  "I don't know, Rodimus... I think our connection 
is lost. I can't get us connected."
     Rodimus folded his arms over the gleaming yellow flames on his chest.  "But 
I even got Ultra Magnus distracted on Cybertron so that we could get online.  
You're saying the connection's gone?"
     She shrugged.  "Well, it's either that, or they've ceased to exist."
     "Both of them couldn't cease to exist at once.  It must be a technical 
problem."  He regarded her carefully.  "You're sure you can't fix it?"
     Whiz pointed at him with a wicked looking wrench.  "If it was fixable, I'd 
have it taken care of by now.  It's not on our end, it's on theirs."
     He flopped into a chair grumpily.  "If it was just yours, I wouldn't be 
surprised.  But mine..."
     "Hey!  I've been in touch with mine lately too.  Besides, yours just sits 
around with you in the TP closet."  
     Rodimus smiled sweetly.  "But that's because she *loves* me.  So does 
yours... maybe she just doesn't like you anymore.  I heard her mooning over 
Springer."
     "That's not true!  She'll come back.  She always does."  Whiz jabbed at a 
few of the buttons on the console, trying once more to bring up the connection.  
As she fiddled with the controls, the doors to the command center slid open and 
Maverick entered.
     "You called?" the diminutive medic asked.  "I heard you saying something 
about a technical problem."
     Rodimus grinned at Whiz.  "I see now.  *You* can't fix it, but you're going 
to try to make Maverick do it?"
     Whiz snorted.  "Hardly.  Like I said, it's not on our end."
     Maverick looked between them with a puzzled expression.  "Then... what'd 
you need me for?"
     With a flourish, Whiz pulled a blue box from behind the console.  
"Entertainment!  How'd you like to play a game of trivial pursuit?"
     The minibot's optics brightened.  "You know, I've been wanting to challenge 
you for that 'Champion' title for a while now..."
      Rodimus groaned and leaned back in his chair, throwing one forearm over 
his optics.  "Spare me.  I've got better things to do than watch you two swap 
useless information."
      Whiz raised an optic ridge.  "Such as?"
      He got to his feet and approached the doors.  "I'll get some practice in 
on the training drone."
      The two medics looked at each other, grinned, and then turned innocent 
faces toward Rodimus.  "Have fun," they chorused.
      His hand paused above the door's controls. "What?  Nothing good has ever 
come from you two looking at me that way."
      "It's coded, Rod.  It won't work," Whiz explained.
      Maverick agreed, "Not with the server down."
      Rodimus made a frustrated noise and turned to lean heavily against the 
door.  "Then what..."
      He was cut off abruptly as the door opened. Rodimus windmilled his arms 
frantically to try to keep his balance as his support suddenly disappeared, but 
he failed.  The only thing that kept him from hitting the floor was Elita-I's 
quick action as she caught him under his arms.  "Hey... are you all right?"
      "Er.. fine."  Rodimus recovered the scattered shards of his dignity and 
began to reassemble them as Elita I stepped into the command center, followed 
closely by Caern.
       "We have a situation here.  There's been no contact from any of our 
players, and there's a low-level panic among some of the OCs who have never been 
through this before," Elita announced.
       Caern nodded, "And security's a mess.  You can leave Metroplex, but when 
you try to re-enter the city, you get stuck in an object."
       "Yeah," Whiz explained, "We've lost contact with the server.  It's just 
us for a little while, and the code's not going to work. That's why people are 
getting stuck instead of teleporting."
       "Teleporting? Whiz, aren't there some serious Theme issues there?" Caern 
asked skeptically.
       She shook her head.  "Not if they don't know we're doing it to them.  We 
saw the same kind of confusion when objects all over were setting themselves 
HALT.  It'll pass."
       "You're giving me a headache, Whiz," Elita said, shaking her head 
slightly. "How long will we be stuck this way?"
       "Hard to say.  Ask Rodimus, his player's the expert."  Maverick shrugged.
       Rodimus laughed sarcastically. "Sure, I'll just go ask her."
       "What are we supposed to do until we can get back in touch with them?"  
Caern asked.  "Just sit here, idle?"
       Whiz smirked.  "As if that's a big change for us."
       "Whiz and I were about to play Trivial Pursuit!" Maverick volunteered.
       "I hate playing that game with you two.  You have the trivia skill," 
Elita groaned.
       "Well, I paid a chargen point for it, I'd like to use it at least once," 
Maverick explained.
       Whiz hmmmmed, looking off into the distance, possibly deep in thought. 
"Hey, I have an idea."
       "Some way to fix this problem?" Caern asked.
       She shook her head.  "I wish.  It's not on our end.  But we could try a 
LARP!"
       "Larb?" Elita asked. "Isn't that a Thai dish?"
       Maveick did a double-take.  "And you said you don't know trivia."
       "A LARP.  It stands for Live Action Role Play.  I've heard that they try 
it when they're not with us.  Maybe we could try it while they're not here," 
Whiz explained to the group.
       Rodimus said thoughtfully, "Aren't there dice involved?  I remember her 
saying something about dice.  Or dragons.  Maybe both."
       "No, the dragons are the ones she spends time with when she's not with 
you," Whiz smirked.
       "Why would we try this... LARP... anyway?  It doesn't sound very 
productive to pretend to be ourselves." Caern frowned.
       "We could pretend to be other people instead," Maverick suggested.
       Caern considered it.  "What, like Frenzy? HI!!!!!!!!!!"
       As Whiz, Elita, and Maverick winced from the attack on their audio 
sensors, Rodimus struck a menacing pose.  "Look at me! I'm Galvatron!  See my 
threatening cannon? I'm not wearing pants, you know!"
       "I certainly hope those two statements weren't related," Elita observed 
dryly.
       "Let's not go there." Maverick said hastily.
       "Well... they spend all of their time pretending to be us... we could 
pretend that we're them." Whiz suggested.
       Rodimus shook his head emphatically.  "Oh no.  I'm not pretending to be a 
girl."
       "What do you have against girls?" Whiz demanded.
       "I don't see a problem with it at all," Elita observed.
       Maverick grinned.  "I don't understand that trans-gender transformer 
thing anyway."
       Rodimus said smugly, "It's because she loves me.  All the chicks dig the 
flames."
       Whiz made an arcane gesture in the air.  Suddenly, a flood of tiny, 
fluffy yellow chicks emerged from an air vent and surged toward Rodimus.  In a 
frenzy of adoration, they covered him from head to toe, obscuring him completely 
except for his annoyed blue optics.  *peep peep peep peep* they peeped in 
ecstasy, happy just to be near him.
       "I thought macros didn't work," the fluffy Rodimus said, his words 
muffled by his feathery companions.
       Whiz grinned. "It's not a macro.  I just love to do that."
       Elita and Caern peered up into the air vent.  "I don't know if that's a 
risk to security, or just to good sense," Caern said.
       Elita stifled a smile.  "I think it's both."
       Rodimus extricated one of his hands and waved it dismissively, and the 
peepers disappeared.  "Well, that was different."
       "It's a talent," Whiz smirked.
       Suddenly the screens began to come to life.  The everpresent WHO list in 
the corner began to light up with names, which Elita hastened to read.  "Looks 
like Airwolf is here, it won't be long now."


                     THE END.... or is it?